Shane Flait asked:


alth and activity level passes through 3 phases during retirement. And that’ll alter our living options and expenses. By recognizing this, you can modify your living expenses now to suit your wishes and happiness. I’ll outline these phases and the actions you can take to optimize your lifestyle choices by minimizing your expenses.

The 3 phases of retirement are:

1) Healthy, Active and Independent Stage: Usually you begin your retirement in this phase. Your activity and lifestyle choice determines your expense level – and the associated income you need. Choosing a satisfying lifestyle with little expense may be best for you. This stage can last as long as your money and health hold out.

2) Minor Health Problems with Slowdown and Almost Independent Stage: You’re still living independently but running into minor health issues. Hopefully you’re doing what you want but are just slowing down. This stage may present the lowest expenses – i.e. the least demand for income. Hopefully, this is the last stage for many – no matter how long they live.

3) Infirmed and Dependent Stage: Eventually, the full effects of ‘old age’ will infirm many retirees. Three out of four1 future retirees will require long term care in their homes and nursing homes. Costs2 can be substantial – rising to as much as $80,000 per year for nursing home care in the U.S.

You can control the expenses of the first two stages by optimizing your lifestyle and activity choices. That way you’ll know what retirement income you really need. And that can be far less than you think for a lifestyle you choose.

Recognizing the inevitability of our health’s progression will get you to take the action now to choose a lifestyle you’ll like and can afford.

Group your expenses into 3 categories:

1. The Basics: Housing, transportation, and meals

2. Entertainment

3. Healthcare

Throughout your first two phases, The Basics stay roughly the same, while entertainment decreases with decreased health and activity levels. Healthcare expenses trend slowly up but can dominate expenses in phase 3 especially if you need to go into a nursing home.

You can modify the expense for your Basics and Entertainment by choosing a lifestyle that maximizes your enjoyment but minimizes expenses. If you maintain living as when working – same house and location – your expense may be roughly the same.

But if you’re willing to decide what’s really important to you – and stop paying for what isn’t – then you can drastically reduce your Basics and Entertainment in a variety of ways.

Examples include lowering your housing costs by buying down, taking on a renter; selling your car for a cheaper version; moving to a cheaper region of the country; or moving offshore for further reducing expenses. I offer ideas at my website.

Choose Your Lifestyle and Act On It:

Of course, you should lower your expenses but keep them compatible to the kind of lifestyle you’d find fulfilling. But you’ve got to think about what that is and act upon it. Perhaps follow your heart or dream. Happiness often accompanies a meaningful purpose to living.

Enjoyable and fulfilling examples may include living peaceably in a low income country, painting or writing as you always wanted to do, working as a volunteer or doing low paying charity work. Hopefully, such avocations will increase your zest for life – and maintain your health and activity phase longer. But it won’t happen unless you make it happen.

So don’t procrastinate and prepare yourself for action:

1) Decide what lifestyle will bring you fulfillment and joy in your ‘retirement’

2) Search out all the ways you can modify your expenses so your income can support your lifestyle of choice.

Reducing unnecessary expenses may free up future income to pay for assistance and healthcare costs you develop in phase 2. Living offshore in a low income country often presents very inexpensive hired help for you as you get older.

And what if you succumb to the dependency and afflictions of phase 3?

If you have about $1m or more, your investment earnings can cover your care so you can leave a legacy to your children. With less wealth, you could purchase long term care insurance to protect whatever wealth you do have from going all to your long term care costs.

If you’ve given your wealth away and are broke, Medicaid will pick up the tab. So you needn’t worry about money.

Above all, don’t live your life for phase 3 – live it for phase 1.

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Dennis Harting asked:


It is always interesting to watch how society attempts to make people conform. Social conditioning is one of the most powerful motivators we encounter. The fact that most of it occurs without our knowledge is what makes it so effective. People will fight to defend their beliefs without even being aware of where those ideas came from. Unfortunately, the majority of us are nothing more than “products of our environment”. We rarely become something that we consciously chose. Rather, those who we spent the most time with influenced us into believing what we do.

When it comes to relationships and sex, society is clear on what it’s belief is. Heterosexual marriage is the accepted model. This is the best way to maintain order while ensuring the reproduction of the “village”. People who enter this state end up raising a family which carries the population forward. Also, married couples provide an overall stability to the community. They tend to settle down in an area while establishing some roots. The focus often shifts away from individual fulfillment to that of the family. It is a wonderful concept and appropriate in most situations.

However, there are a large number of people who are not designed for this lifestyle. Yet society fails to deliver the message that it is alright for one to find a lifestyle that is suitable to him or her. Many believe that if someone is not of this mold, then there must be something wrong. Yet, there are many different lifestyles for people to choose from. Of course, there is the choice of staying single. For a lot of people, this is the ideal way to live life. Some people are ********** or bisexual. Their preference strays a bit from the norm. Then there are those who prefer the “swinging” lifestyle. Monogamy is not something that works for them. These are just a few of the choices people can make when deciding what they want in life.

Part of living a rich life is making the choices that make you happy. Too many people allow others to make the decisions for them and wonder why they are not fulfilled. You are the only one who has to live your life. It is imperative that you select those things that coincide with your true nature.

Attempting to live a lifestyle that is not true to us will result in failure. We have heard of the man who leaves his wife for another man. He comes “out of the closet”. Afterwards, people wonder why he would do such a thing. The answer is that he simply was trying to live a lifestyle that did not fit him. Certainly he may not have known his sexual preference when he got married. Nevertheless, the pressures of our culture deter the investigation into what fits this individual. He was trained from a young age that he should get married and raise a family. That is the conditioning of society.

Naturally, this is not to imply that there is anything wrong with marriage or family. The point is that basically they are not for everyone. However, the judgments of others is another powerful weapon. People who fail to obey the cultural norm are belittled. For example, what is the opinion of people who engage in group ***. The majority of society looks down upon those people. They call them all kinds of names. Individuals who claim to be “open-minded” judge the daylights out of these people. Since they do not fit into the proper model, weapons are brought out in an attempt to make them conform. Naturally, violence is outlawed in the era so other tactics are utilized. The biggest is to let people know they “do not fit in”. This carries considerable pressure. We all want to be a part of something. Our humanness dictates this. Man (in the species sense) is a social animal. We are designed to interact with other people.

When seeking personal happiness, it is important that we choose a sexual/romantic situation that accommodates us. We need to give ourselves the freedom to make the proper choice. If being married and living in a monogamous relationship works for you, follow that path. However, if something else is more to your nature, it is best to follow that. A word of caution: it is often difficult to be true to your decision. There will be a number of people who will attempt to influence you. This will be done with the claim that they want you to be happy. Of course, they operate under the presumption that they know what is best for you. You are the only one who can make this decision.

Here’s is a common example. I once worked with a guy who knew that he was cut out for the swinger lifestyle. Throughout his dating career, he was in numerous long-term, monogamous relationships. He told me that he was not happy in those situations even though the women were wonderful. They were ideal candidates for married life. Unfortunately for them, he was not. After some research, he realized that another lifestyle fit him better. He consciously chose to pursue it. Until he met that “special” someone. She was ideal in all manners except that she was not interested in swinging. As you can guess, issues arose. We talked on a number of different occasions about this. In the end, he had to let her go. Neither of them would enjoy happiness engaging in the other’s lifestyle. Ultimately he did find someone who was pursuing the same interests as him. Today, they are very happy together.

In summary, be mindful of the choices you make with your life. Understand there was a lot of conditioning that influenced you. Society has a way of training us to behave in certain ways. Resist the temptation to go against your core. If another path sits better with you, follow it. Your happiness rests upon the decisions that you make. Even though those closest to you will have their opinions and judgments, they do not live your life. It is your responsibility to make live a rich and full life.



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Ade D’Almeida asked:


The Choice is Yours!

 

 

As a single person journeys along the pathway of life they have to continuously make choices which will ultimately lead them to, or affect their destiny. In this article I want to look at the lives of some single people and review their choice of lifestyle and its impact on their future. We will look at the choice, consequence and the cure for each lifestyle.

 

 

Lifestyle 1: One foot in one foot out

 

The Choice: James is a new Christian and truly loves God but also he truly loves some of the things he used to do. Before he became a Christian he particularly enjoyed ***. Now he cannot imagine how it is possible to have a relationship that is “God’s Way”!

 

The Consequence: He may be the father of many babies. He may get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) and he may experience feelings of guilt and frustration, as he is torn between lifestyles, trying to give up one for the other. The most dangerous Consequence of all is spiritual death.

 

The Cure:      2 Corinthians 5:17 – James needs to remember he is a new creature

                        Ephesians 4:22-24 – He needs to put off what is of the old man

 

In short: face the challenge, think it through, and make that change!

 

 

Lifestyle 2: Dress to Tease

 

The Choice: June loves wearing the latest fashions. She has gone beyond the boundary of the decent into the scanty. She has made up her mind – she will not be an old maid! Therefore she thinks the less she puts on, the more the chances of her being picked.

 

The Consequence: She will not be taken seriously, and if approached at all, it will be for the wrong reasons. She has made herself a prey for abuse and/or misuse by the wrong man.

 

The Cure:      1 Timothy 2:9a – June can get a few tips on dressing here

                        1 Peter 3:3 – She needs to find her true value

                        Proverbs 31:25 – The secret to dressing well

 

In short: dress well, add value to your life and you will be found by a Boaz!

 

Lifestyle 3: The Superficial

 

The Choice: Byron has chosen to focus on the superficial things of life. His second name is Bozo. He enjoys presenting himself as a man of substance but really he is shallow. In depth discussions scare him…after all he might be discovered.

 

The Consequence: A shallow relationship. An empty lifestyle. A superficial friendship.

 

The Cure:      Matthew 10:16 – Byron is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

                        1 Samuel 16:7 – Listen to the Lord, he knows the inside

                        James 1:8 – You do not want to join your future to instability!

 

In short: spot him/her… and run for your life!

 

Lifestyle 4: No Hope

 

The Choice: Jane did not actually choose to get to this point but because she allowed the cares of life to dictate her emotions, she has now lost hope. Due to no one having spoken to her in five years she can’t see the point in taking care of herself. Doing her hair or makeup is a no-go area. 

 

The Consequence: Whilst inner beauty is of great importance, outside appearance is often assessed first. Other consequences include depression and discouragement as the perpetuation of not being asked continues. Low self-esteem can also manifest as the desire to meet a person is not met.

 

The Cure:      Job 14:14 – Jane needs to keep on waiting patiently for there is an appointed time. If Job had his, she will have hers

            Romans 4:21 – God is not a man that He should lie, He is faithful to His word concerning her life

 

In short: focus on the now and develop self on the way to where you are going

 

Lifestyle 5: Commitment Phobic

 

The Choice: Maggie has not been able to close the door on a yesterday relationship. She meditates on it and thinks through it again and again. She does not want to try again for fear of another break up. She claims she is married to Jesus and wants all the ‘satans’ to leave her alone.

 

The Consequences: She is unable to commit to anyone and because of her fear of involvement many suitors have emotional scars for having dated her. She has become bitter and nothing can make her come out of her fortified tower.

 

The Cure:      Hebrews 12:15 – Free yourself of bitterness, it destroys you and those around

                        Ephesians 4:23 – Let yesterday die and allow your spirit to be renewed

 

In short: yesterday is in the grave, tomorrow is in the womb, so seize today and make it count.

 

Lifestyle 6: Steadfast

 

The Choice: Joseph is confident on the way to where he is going. He knows he has milestones on the journey and is following his targets one by one. He is a good friend to all, enjoys the atmosphere of worship and serves faithfully in Church. The commitment to God he shows in church is the same at home, where he prays and seeks to know God for himself.

 

The Consequences: As he walks with the Lord, at the appropriate time, he will see, be seen and propose to the perfect will of God for his life. He will have prepared for her arrival and she will be the Queen of his house, a support to him. Should any difficulty arise, they will both go to the manufacturer – the source who brought them together – God.

 

The Cure?      None prescribed, this is where we all desire to be.

 

In short: With God as the third person in their relationship, they will live happily ever after!

 

So now shall we say:   The Choice is yours!

                                    To rejoice or to cry

                                    To lift your head up or to bow

                                    To live or to just exist

                                    To live a dream or to live a lie

                                    Seize the day, choose God’s way



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