Choose a Lifestyle That Makes you Happy
Dennis Harting asked:
It is always interesting to watch how society attempts to make people conform. Social conditioning is one of the most powerful motivators we encounter. The fact that most of it occurs without our knowledge is what makes it so effective. People will fight to defend their beliefs without even being aware of where those ideas came from. Unfortunately, the majority of us are nothing more than “products of our environment”. We rarely become something that we consciously chose. Rather, those who we spent the most time with influenced us into believing what we do.
When it comes to relationships and sex, society is clear on what it’s belief is. Heterosexual marriage is the accepted model. This is the best way to maintain order while ensuring the reproduction of the “village”. People who enter this state end up raising a family which carries the population forward. Also, married couples provide an overall stability to the community. They tend to settle down in an area while establishing some roots. The focus often shifts away from individual fulfillment to that of the family. It is a wonderful concept and appropriate in most situations.
However, there are a large number of people who are not designed for this lifestyle. Yet society fails to deliver the message that it is alright for one to find a lifestyle that is suitable to him or her. Many believe that if someone is not of this mold, then there must be something wrong. Yet, there are many different lifestyles for people to choose from. Of course, there is the choice of staying single. For a lot of people, this is the ideal way to live life. Some people are ********** or bisexual. Their preference strays a bit from the norm. Then there are those who prefer the “swinging” lifestyle. Monogamy is not something that works for them. These are just a few of the choices people can make when deciding what they want in life.
Part of living a rich life is making the choices that make you happy. Too many people allow others to make the decisions for them and wonder why they are not fulfilled. You are the only one who has to live your life. It is imperative that you select those things that coincide with your true nature.
Attempting to live a lifestyle that is not true to us will result in failure. We have heard of the man who leaves his wife for another man. He comes “out of the closet”. Afterwards, people wonder why he would do such a thing. The answer is that he simply was trying to live a lifestyle that did not fit him. Certainly he may not have known his sexual preference when he got married. Nevertheless, the pressures of our culture deter the investigation into what fits this individual. He was trained from a young age that he should get married and raise a family. That is the conditioning of society.
Naturally, this is not to imply that there is anything wrong with marriage or family. The point is that basically they are not for everyone. However, the judgments of others is another powerful weapon. People who fail to obey the cultural norm are belittled. For example, what is the opinion of people who engage in group ***. The majority of society looks down upon those people. They call them all kinds of names. Individuals who claim to be “open-minded” judge the daylights out of these people. Since they do not fit into the proper model, weapons are brought out in an attempt to make them conform. Naturally, violence is outlawed in the era so other tactics are utilized. The biggest is to let people know they “do not fit in”. This carries considerable pressure. We all want to be a part of something. Our humanness dictates this. Man (in the species sense) is a social animal. We are designed to interact with other people.
When seeking personal happiness, it is important that we choose a sexual/romantic situation that accommodates us. We need to give ourselves the freedom to make the proper choice. If being married and living in a monogamous relationship works for you, follow that path. However, if something else is more to your nature, it is best to follow that. A word of caution: it is often difficult to be true to your decision. There will be a number of people who will attempt to influence you. This will be done with the claim that they want you to be happy. Of course, they operate under the presumption that they know what is best for you. You are the only one who can make this decision.
Here’s is a common example. I once worked with a guy who knew that he was cut out for the swinger lifestyle. Throughout his dating career, he was in numerous long-term, monogamous relationships. He told me that he was not happy in those situations even though the women were wonderful. They were ideal candidates for married life. Unfortunately for them, he was not. After some research, he realized that another lifestyle fit him better. He consciously chose to pursue it. Until he met that “special” someone. She was ideal in all manners except that she was not interested in swinging. As you can guess, issues arose. We talked on a number of different occasions about this. In the end, he had to let her go. Neither of them would enjoy happiness engaging in the other’s lifestyle. Ultimately he did find someone who was pursuing the same interests as him. Today, they are very happy together.
In summary, be mindful of the choices you make with your life. Understand there was a lot of conditioning that influenced you. Society has a way of training us to behave in certain ways. Resist the temptation to go against your core. If another path sits better with you, follow it. Your happiness rests upon the decisions that you make. Even though those closest to you will have their opinions and judgments, they do not live your life. It is your responsibility to make live a rich and full life.
Create a video blog
It is always interesting to watch how society attempts to make people conform. Social conditioning is one of the most powerful motivators we encounter. The fact that most of it occurs without our knowledge is what makes it so effective. People will fight to defend their beliefs without even being aware of where those ideas came from. Unfortunately, the majority of us are nothing more than “products of our environment”. We rarely become something that we consciously chose. Rather, those who we spent the most time with influenced us into believing what we do.
When it comes to relationships and sex, society is clear on what it’s belief is. Heterosexual marriage is the accepted model. This is the best way to maintain order while ensuring the reproduction of the “village”. People who enter this state end up raising a family which carries the population forward. Also, married couples provide an overall stability to the community. They tend to settle down in an area while establishing some roots. The focus often shifts away from individual fulfillment to that of the family. It is a wonderful concept and appropriate in most situations.
However, there are a large number of people who are not designed for this lifestyle. Yet society fails to deliver the message that it is alright for one to find a lifestyle that is suitable to him or her. Many believe that if someone is not of this mold, then there must be something wrong. Yet, there are many different lifestyles for people to choose from. Of course, there is the choice of staying single. For a lot of people, this is the ideal way to live life. Some people are ********** or bisexual. Their preference strays a bit from the norm. Then there are those who prefer the “swinging” lifestyle. Monogamy is not something that works for them. These are just a few of the choices people can make when deciding what they want in life.
Part of living a rich life is making the choices that make you happy. Too many people allow others to make the decisions for them and wonder why they are not fulfilled. You are the only one who has to live your life. It is imperative that you select those things that coincide with your true nature.
Attempting to live a lifestyle that is not true to us will result in failure. We have heard of the man who leaves his wife for another man. He comes “out of the closet”. Afterwards, people wonder why he would do such a thing. The answer is that he simply was trying to live a lifestyle that did not fit him. Certainly he may not have known his sexual preference when he got married. Nevertheless, the pressures of our culture deter the investigation into what fits this individual. He was trained from a young age that he should get married and raise a family. That is the conditioning of society.
Naturally, this is not to imply that there is anything wrong with marriage or family. The point is that basically they are not for everyone. However, the judgments of others is another powerful weapon. People who fail to obey the cultural norm are belittled. For example, what is the opinion of people who engage in group ***. The majority of society looks down upon those people. They call them all kinds of names. Individuals who claim to be “open-minded” judge the daylights out of these people. Since they do not fit into the proper model, weapons are brought out in an attempt to make them conform. Naturally, violence is outlawed in the era so other tactics are utilized. The biggest is to let people know they “do not fit in”. This carries considerable pressure. We all want to be a part of something. Our humanness dictates this. Man (in the species sense) is a social animal. We are designed to interact with other people.
When seeking personal happiness, it is important that we choose a sexual/romantic situation that accommodates us. We need to give ourselves the freedom to make the proper choice. If being married and living in a monogamous relationship works for you, follow that path. However, if something else is more to your nature, it is best to follow that. A word of caution: it is often difficult to be true to your decision. There will be a number of people who will attempt to influence you. This will be done with the claim that they want you to be happy. Of course, they operate under the presumption that they know what is best for you. You are the only one who can make this decision.
Here’s is a common example. I once worked with a guy who knew that he was cut out for the swinger lifestyle. Throughout his dating career, he was in numerous long-term, monogamous relationships. He told me that he was not happy in those situations even though the women were wonderful. They were ideal candidates for married life. Unfortunately for them, he was not. After some research, he realized that another lifestyle fit him better. He consciously chose to pursue it. Until he met that “special” someone. She was ideal in all manners except that she was not interested in swinging. As you can guess, issues arose. We talked on a number of different occasions about this. In the end, he had to let her go. Neither of them would enjoy happiness engaging in the other’s lifestyle. Ultimately he did find someone who was pursuing the same interests as him. Today, they are very happy together.
In summary, be mindful of the choices you make with your life. Understand there was a lot of conditioning that influenced you. Society has a way of training us to behave in certain ways. Resist the temptation to go against your core. If another path sits better with you, follow it. Your happiness rests upon the decisions that you make. Even though those closest to you will have their opinions and judgments, they do not live your life. It is your responsibility to make live a rich and full life.
Create a video blog
Single Lifestyle – the Choice is Yours
October 21, 2009 by admin
Filed under Uncategorized
Ade D’Almeida asked:
The Choice is Yours!
As a single person journeys along the pathway of life they have to continuously make choices which will ultimately lead them to, or affect their destiny. In this article I want to look at the lives of some single people and review their choice of lifestyle and its impact on their future. We will look at the choice, consequence and the cure for each lifestyle.
Lifestyle 1: One foot in one foot out
The Choice: James is a new Christian and truly loves God but also he truly loves some of the things he used to do. Before he became a Christian he particularly enjoyed ***. Now he cannot imagine how it is possible to have a relationship that is “God’s Way”!
The Consequence: He may be the father of many babies. He may get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) and he may experience feelings of guilt and frustration, as he is torn between lifestyles, trying to give up one for the other. The most dangerous Consequence of all is spiritual death.
The Cure: 2 Corinthians 5:17 – James needs to remember he is a new creature
Ephesians 4:22-24 – He needs to put off what is of the old man
In short: face the challenge, think it through, and make that change!
Lifestyle 2: Dress to Tease
The Choice: June loves wearing the latest fashions. She has gone beyond the boundary of the decent into the scanty. She has made up her mind – she will not be an old maid! Therefore she thinks the less she puts on, the more the chances of her being picked.
The Consequence: She will not be taken seriously, and if approached at all, it will be for the wrong reasons. She has made herself a prey for abuse and/or misuse by the wrong man.
The Cure: 1 Timothy 2:9a – June can get a few tips on dressing here
1 Peter 3:3 – She needs to find her true value
Proverbs 31:25 – The secret to dressing well
In short: dress well, add value to your life and you will be found by a Boaz!
Lifestyle 3: The Superficial
The Choice: Byron has chosen to focus on the superficial things of life. His second name is Bozo. He enjoys presenting himself as a man of substance but really he is shallow. In depth discussions scare him…after all he might be discovered.
The Consequence: A shallow relationship. An empty lifestyle. A superficial friendship.
The Cure: Matthew 10:16 – Byron is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
1 Samuel 16:7 – Listen to the Lord, he knows the inside
James 1:8 – You do not want to join your future to instability!
In short: spot him/her… and run for your life!
Lifestyle 4: No Hope
The Choice: Jane did not actually choose to get to this point but because she allowed the cares of life to dictate her emotions, she has now lost hope. Due to no one having spoken to her in five years she can’t see the point in taking care of herself. Doing her hair or makeup is a no-go area.
The Consequence: Whilst inner beauty is of great importance, outside appearance is often assessed first. Other consequences include depression and discouragement as the perpetuation of not being asked continues. Low self-esteem can also manifest as the desire to meet a person is not met.
The Cure: Job 14:14 – Jane needs to keep on waiting patiently for there is an appointed time. If Job had his, she will have hers
Romans 4:21 – God is not a man that He should lie, He is faithful to His word concerning her life
In short: focus on the now and develop self on the way to where you are going
Lifestyle 5: Commitment Phobic
The Choice: Maggie has not been able to close the door on a yesterday relationship. She meditates on it and thinks through it again and again. She does not want to try again for fear of another break up. She claims she is married to Jesus and wants all the ‘satans’ to leave her alone.
The Consequences: She is unable to commit to anyone and because of her fear of involvement many suitors have emotional scars for having dated her. She has become bitter and nothing can make her come out of her fortified tower.
The Cure: Hebrews 12:15 – Free yourself of bitterness, it destroys you and those around
Ephesians 4:23 – Let yesterday die and allow your spirit to be renewed
In short: yesterday is in the grave, tomorrow is in the womb, so seize today and make it count.
Lifestyle 6: Steadfast
The Choice: Joseph is confident on the way to where he is going. He knows he has milestones on the journey and is following his targets one by one. He is a good friend to all, enjoys the atmosphere of worship and serves faithfully in Church. The commitment to God he shows in church is the same at home, where he prays and seeks to know God for himself.
The Consequences: As he walks with the Lord, at the appropriate time, he will see, be seen and propose to the perfect will of God for his life. He will have prepared for her arrival and she will be the Queen of his house, a support to him. Should any difficulty arise, they will both go to the manufacturer – the source who brought them together – God.
The Cure? None prescribed, this is where we all desire to be.
In short: With God as the third person in their relationship, they will live happily ever after!
So now shall we say: The Choice is yours!
To rejoice or to cry
To lift your head up or to bow
To live or to just exist
To live a dream or to live a lie
Seize the day, choose God’s way
Caffeinated Content
The Choice is Yours!
As a single person journeys along the pathway of life they have to continuously make choices which will ultimately lead them to, or affect their destiny. In this article I want to look at the lives of some single people and review their choice of lifestyle and its impact on their future. We will look at the choice, consequence and the cure for each lifestyle.
Lifestyle 1: One foot in one foot out
The Choice: James is a new Christian and truly loves God but also he truly loves some of the things he used to do. Before he became a Christian he particularly enjoyed ***. Now he cannot imagine how it is possible to have a relationship that is “God’s Way”!
The Consequence: He may be the father of many babies. He may get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) and he may experience feelings of guilt and frustration, as he is torn between lifestyles, trying to give up one for the other. The most dangerous Consequence of all is spiritual death.
The Cure: 2 Corinthians 5:17 – James needs to remember he is a new creature
Ephesians 4:22-24 – He needs to put off what is of the old man
In short: face the challenge, think it through, and make that change!
Lifestyle 2: Dress to Tease
The Choice: June loves wearing the latest fashions. She has gone beyond the boundary of the decent into the scanty. She has made up her mind – she will not be an old maid! Therefore she thinks the less she puts on, the more the chances of her being picked.
The Consequence: She will not be taken seriously, and if approached at all, it will be for the wrong reasons. She has made herself a prey for abuse and/or misuse by the wrong man.
The Cure: 1 Timothy 2:9a – June can get a few tips on dressing here
1 Peter 3:3 – She needs to find her true value
Proverbs 31:25 – The secret to dressing well
In short: dress well, add value to your life and you will be found by a Boaz!
Lifestyle 3: The Superficial
The Choice: Byron has chosen to focus on the superficial things of life. His second name is Bozo. He enjoys presenting himself as a man of substance but really he is shallow. In depth discussions scare him…after all he might be discovered.
The Consequence: A shallow relationship. An empty lifestyle. A superficial friendship.
The Cure: Matthew 10:16 – Byron is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
1 Samuel 16:7 – Listen to the Lord, he knows the inside
James 1:8 – You do not want to join your future to instability!
In short: spot him/her… and run for your life!
Lifestyle 4: No Hope
The Choice: Jane did not actually choose to get to this point but because she allowed the cares of life to dictate her emotions, she has now lost hope. Due to no one having spoken to her in five years she can’t see the point in taking care of herself. Doing her hair or makeup is a no-go area.
The Consequence: Whilst inner beauty is of great importance, outside appearance is often assessed first. Other consequences include depression and discouragement as the perpetuation of not being asked continues. Low self-esteem can also manifest as the desire to meet a person is not met.
The Cure: Job 14:14 – Jane needs to keep on waiting patiently for there is an appointed time. If Job had his, she will have hers
Romans 4:21 – God is not a man that He should lie, He is faithful to His word concerning her life
In short: focus on the now and develop self on the way to where you are going
Lifestyle 5: Commitment Phobic
The Choice: Maggie has not been able to close the door on a yesterday relationship. She meditates on it and thinks through it again and again. She does not want to try again for fear of another break up. She claims she is married to Jesus and wants all the ‘satans’ to leave her alone.
The Consequences: She is unable to commit to anyone and because of her fear of involvement many suitors have emotional scars for having dated her. She has become bitter and nothing can make her come out of her fortified tower.
The Cure: Hebrews 12:15 – Free yourself of bitterness, it destroys you and those around
Ephesians 4:23 – Let yesterday die and allow your spirit to be renewed
In short: yesterday is in the grave, tomorrow is in the womb, so seize today and make it count.
Lifestyle 6: Steadfast
The Choice: Joseph is confident on the way to where he is going. He knows he has milestones on the journey and is following his targets one by one. He is a good friend to all, enjoys the atmosphere of worship and serves faithfully in Church. The commitment to God he shows in church is the same at home, where he prays and seeks to know God for himself.
The Consequences: As he walks with the Lord, at the appropriate time, he will see, be seen and propose to the perfect will of God for his life. He will have prepared for her arrival and she will be the Queen of his house, a support to him. Should any difficulty arise, they will both go to the manufacturer – the source who brought them together – God.
The Cure? None prescribed, this is where we all desire to be.
In short: With God as the third person in their relationship, they will live happily ever after!
So now shall we say: The Choice is yours!
To rejoice or to cry
To lift your head up or to bow
To live or to just exist
To live a dream or to live a lie
Seize the day, choose God’s way
Caffeinated Content
